A dark beginning

Its only after I realized that I had to think twice, to confirm, whether I am talking within a dream or a reality, that I felt the need to control the good and the demon inside me. There is a Sal Paradise and a Dean Moriarty in every one of us. One a lazy listener and other a crazy agent.
The darkness had to be trapped. Is darkness a black flame or absence of light?
I had been following those designs never once doubting it wasn't going to be all better. How innocent I was to believe that I could achieve a purity of thought and then go back to the way I had always lived like. A god inside was switched on during the day, the devil filled my ears during the night, overcome by guilt at dawn, it was all equally pleasurable, I failed to differ. There was a choice I had to make, the devil was too tempting to resist.
Inception if it isn't just the beginning. Germination. A tiny idea, evolving, formulating and taking shape in our head. Amazingly enough it consumes my existence. The little game which Jim Morrison had also referred to. Playing it inside your head, where the world within becomes a strange yet simple world. The world outside the window seemed stranger and more frightening, distant. Fearing the heat while making friends with the cold. Detached. No connections, lost like a bird flown away by the harsh winds. Yet hopeful.
"Truth shall find you", signs consoled, "You are just a sojourner". Reading is as much pleasure as listening, but aren't all those voices just an echo. The dark passenger, it yearns to be unleashed, there seemed no harm. Would it lead to the truth? The reality, when all those perceptions are drawn away like sordid curtains to fill our mind with sunshine. Travel that road down inside your head listening to a craving voice.

Peace comes with a price. The path of the devil might just lead to a backdoor of heaven. Truth and knowledge are your companions on the road to excess towards the palace of wisdom.
Was bitterness ever worth the time and happiness ever worth the money.
Would I not prefer a heaven or a hell over any earth, death being common to both choices.

"Wake up! You can't remember where it was Had this dream stopped?" , Awake from An American Prayer by Jim Morrison.

"Confusion
No connections
Come 'ere
I love you
Peace on earth
Will you die for me?
Eat me
This way
The end" ,
Jim Morrison Angels and Sailors from An American Prayer.

"People with virtue must speak out;
People who speak are not all virtuous."
"Never hesitate to ask a lesser person.",
Confucius.

It is indeed strange that I had filled my time with nuances than immense concentrations.

So when the musics over.....

Something wrong, something not quite right,
Something wrong, something not quite right,
It may not last, till the end of the night,
Till the end of the night...
Universe has set the wheels in motion,
Will you follow the path to the other side...?

People around have conspired,
It will happen just as they transpired,
It won't matter what you had desired,
There are no dreams that you admired...

The line around you is moving,
Try all you want but its not stopping,
When will you know...
You are chasing a shadow.

Desperation...
Crossroads of confusion,
Lack of confirmation,
Lets feel lost on a highway of seclusion,
and not live in a cage of bright illusion..

Burn away,
Burn away..
lets live a life,
lets breathe out in the open,
lets shout at the top of our voice,

rot away, before it gets bright,
recording dreams at night,
chasing white rabbits in their flight,
wanting to reach that other side,
Lets live a life...

Give me a hint,
show me a sign,
grant me a look,
send me a book,
catch me on a hook,
drop me a line,
burn me with fire,
drown me in a mire,
set my funeral pyre,
tell me a word,
message me a bird,
Its almost time,
send me a sign,

Dreams will get clear when the end is closer,
The light will fade and the music will soon be over..