Ship of fools !!

Is knowing as easy as people show it is. The mystery behind knowing it all: It is not so mach about finding the meaning of a doors song, but to enjoy a meaning totally having forgotten the earlier one upon its discovery in a previous ritual. A mirage spawns on every song, a glow of colors, a stage, with a caesaresque-poet, delivering a sermon, trying to lead his people into corners of truth and turmoil. Where confusion is no longer an enemy, but a key to opening any door which could lead into air over an abyss. The excitement, hysterical peals of childish laughter, of lost ways and conversations, followed by sudden and utter silence, unison, waiting for the scream of the butterfly. These secrets are dark, humongous, make you feel lost. One feels restless, like searching for "a strangers hand, in a desperate land." That hand is leading all of us into our journeys. Journey to various places, to find various treasures, to commit mistakes and learn from them. The journey continues, but there is a latent feeling, of bidding goodbye, the hand will set us free, leaving only a chain of thoughts. This message, gets lost within a poster of Scarface or in a city of tall structures, now rubble. The thoughts, either make no sense or have obscured only to be constructed back on a later ritual. I am awake. Or closed to a world of magic.

Madmans Quibblings

The problem is, I have forgotten half the things.. and i was too dazed to remember the other half !! In fact I took Jim Morrison's quote of "learn to forget" way too seriously ... All that remains is a hazy past, filled with long cryptic nights, misty dawns, sounds of laughter in the air, a rumbling stomach and random clues to trips with friends surrounded. Only persistent feeling was that of joy, child like happiness, everything was dazed and confused, and yet simple and exactly how it should have been. Wondrous bliss filled each noon as I scanned my fading memory for which month it was, remembering the day seemed too arduous and ridiculous a task.
All i knew was that the future was uncertain and the end was always near with a past forgotten and a confused present .....

Madmans Quibbling ....

Spirituality is often mistaken for religion. It is not so much about finding a God to worship but finding the God within oneself. Any connection with the soul or an activity that bring true inner peace and invokes contemplation on a superior level could well be Spiritual..

So you think you can tell...

Everything is "written" or so as it is said. Life has a complicated yet beautiful way of functioning in circles. Decisions or choices which are already made are thrust upon us to be re made, simply to make us believe that we are in control. Situations manifest themselves in ways such that we are made to believe that we manipulate the choice we make, in accordance with the one that is already "written", and still feel in control. Are we are the ones controlling and leading our life towards our destiny, or some external hand that is incessantly leading us down the path. If the latter is true, then how much are we in control. Who is the one who "writes" it all down and scripts it ever so brilliant to make the matrix seem non existent. "There is someone in my head but its not me". Brilliant poets have emphasized that when you don't know where you are going, any road will lead you to it in some words or others. Even to the extent that you can not change the direction of the wind, but you can change your course to suit it.

How do you reach "IT" when you do not even know where you are going. Is it a simple case of the aimless never getting lost. Would you trust the invisible force to do justice? Do we own our lives or we are just a medium through which a hidden director films a bigger picture? Can you simply hang yourselves on someone Else's words or in this case, unheard scripts?

I have felt at peace and eternal bliss when i have let the script run its course. Somehow it has felt better when i haven't tried to control things that have happened but rather enjoy them unraveling itself in front of me. I felt in sync. Sync with simplicity and easiness. "No more money, No more fancy dress, the other kingdom seemed by far the best, until it reveals the jaws of incest". Why does Jim Morrison say, he had to set us free, since we will never follow him. He knew something, the magnificent and well read poet that he was, but he couldn't tell it to us. He had been through "The doors" and often come back to leave us clues. Clues that could only help us. It was his job, as a shaman, to help the erring fools bound by material gains.

It was so vivid, lucid and omnipresent, yet unnervingly beautiful that we wouldn't have understood its cardinality. Until and unless we ourselves are the discovers, it has no meaning, no emphasis, no importance, the lesson has lost its meaning.

Jim Morrison poem.

Moment of inner freedom
when the mind is opened and the
infinite universe revealed
& the soul is left to wander
dazed & confus'd searching
here & there for teachers & friends.

The sum quote of my life

Pain heals, Chicks dig scars, glory lasts forever.

This post is not just a dialogue from the movie Replacements. It means the world to some of the people who can relate to it. Those some who have in some way or other have sacrificed a part of their lives to celebrate a Genius. Those some who are not related by blood but by passion for the ONE. Just so that it never gets lost in the mindless messages on facebook i want to keep it b"logged". Whenever the going gets tough, belief and hope are tiny rays of light escaping through cracks in rocks into the darkest caves. No amounts of eloquent words, waxing lyrics, ballads of victory can do justice to what this inspires in the men who know what the words in that post mean. It is the light of Elendil.

This is what many lived for, this is what they will tell their kids and grand kids, this is what i would want to read before i bid adieu.

A Rangers Quibbling

I can live in a tree house with just my horse than be a caretaker of a mansion and a job ...

Madmans Quotes

It becomes even more difficult to explore the unknown when you have lost the difference between known and unknown !!

Reality is a relative term.

journey to the Treasure Chest !!!

"Desire!!" It is what keeps me alive. A desire to find the Treasure Chest, based on the faith that everyone of us have a destiny to fulfill. I wander through time and ages seeking that treasure, finding intermediate clues along the journey. The journey through vast barren lands, encountering numerous treacherous peaks and varying changes of climate. Hair, color, hygiene all take a back seat as I move single minded towards the treasure chest. Upon reaching this final destination, the joy of discovering the gold, is often brindled by a lingering question, "What did I cherish most, the journey or the treasure?"
The journey made us what we are but the treasure drove us in the first place. This journey is what i will bank on for future, but will I have the same passion for the next treasure? Would the journey hold the same significance had I come to an end and realized there is no treasure chest awaiting?
Is it really fair to reveal the contents of the treasure chest to a fellow traveler who is still searching? Does he want the momentous pleasure of getting a treasure hunter badge , or does he seek the knowledge and truth that the journey offers. Who makes this decision?
This could be another intermediate clue towards my treasure.

It has to happen !!

19th Feb 2011, might just be the start of the most memorable sporting event I would have ever followed. When the clock strikes 12 here in LA, Ravi Shastri might be tossing a memorabilia coin. The gravity of occasion dawns upon me only when I become Mr. "NICE!!". Thinking forward is a road I just cannot afford to travel, because that road takes me to a day when the single most Iconic figure in my life, would never play in a One Day international. I have spent a major part of 19 years of my life celebrating and witnessing GOD himself take part in Cricket. Pleasure, pain, breakdowns, sorrow, joy, adrenalin, passion have all been part of this journey. It is a pity I missed 3 years of HIS batting, (i donot remember that time of my life.. though i cannot think of anything i could have been doing better than watching HIM bat).
There have been scratchy times when even this devoted follower was more than just losing his faith. May be i just could never digest the fact that even GOD can fail at times. I have had anger bouts just because i could never understand how GOD could fail. Even when i wanted CSK to win IPL-3, deep down i couldn't bear the thought of HIM losing.

If there is one thing in my life I am proud of, it is "quit life, watch HIM". 41/51 test centuries live -- quite an achievement. This was apparent when i spent from 3 am to 7 am in a library cell only because HE was batting and me missing even one ball, or moving from my position, or opening my crossed fingers/ toes, or drinking/eating/listening/reading would cause a flutter in the universe and distract GOD from HIS apparent hobby (batting). That day, GOD made 200 !!!


If the "millions.." and "millions.." of ROCK's fan make him the most electrifying man in sports

entertainment, think what "BILLIONS" and "BILLIONS" of GOD's fan make HIM. There are more than just a few million people who would stay awake at un-GOD-ly hours on 19th Feb, just to watch HIM. This sheer stat is enough to show the passion that one man inspires. Is it not apt that half the world stands still when GOD is busy playing !!!

HIS batting gave people hope that even super heroes existed. There could be "miracles" (when He tried bowling). That hard work and determination could lead you to achieve mind numbing achievements. That quitting in face of defeat was just not an option. That respect was earned not demanded. That fame, money and pride can go hand in hand with humility. That national pride could give a high, which no substance abuse could. If there could be a ideal human, it was HIM, but after all HE is not human, at least for me.

I am at loss of words regarding to what i would do after HE retires from cricket. I have spent all my conscious and semi-conscious years following HIM. I just donot know life without HIM. All my years are catalogs of something HE achieved that year. e.g. 1998.. i remember HIS bday (even Warne does :-) ), but i dont recall mine own. I have categorically had the best day and worst day of my life because of HIM. The retirement thought is crushing but the honor of witnessing a career of such magnitude drives me on. There is an entire generation which grew and molded themselves on HIM.

Religion might teach us to kill/ divide/ ostracise people. But my religion is sports and my heroes are not mud deities but in flesh and blood. Our GOD has united a country which has more than 1,652 dialects... in each of those dialects god means Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar !!