THE TEN ENGINEERING COMMANDMENTS

Everyone makes a big fuss out of an Engineer. “Our kid is an engineer”, boasts the parents, one look towards the red as an apple face of the kid gives the clear picture. The guy is thinking, “God don’t let them know that I did absolutely nothing and still got bestowed with the holy grail (the degree).” The latest WHO report on the occupation which utilize least brain have Engineers on No.1. The usage is stated at 15%, the most of it being used to analyze how to submit copied assignments or how to complete 75% attendance. We lead the lawyers by a mere margin of 3% (They rigged the polls).
The brotherhood of engineers is more compact and trusting since there are many common secrets.. The ten most common are:

Bhaiiii:
This doesn’t refer to dons or bhaigiri. The self realization of the lack of gals in engineering, plus since ANGOOR KHATTE HOTE hai, makes the male population stick together like Raina to Dhoni or Tom to Jerry. The greeting words like yaar, dude, bro change to BHAI. Every one is a BHAI. Even if u don’t know someones name, he is BHAI. You talk on phone to a BHAIII at home and the folks actually start wondering,”we just had two kids… where are the other siblings coming from”. MunnaBHAI further popularized the Bhaiii. Every engineer finds his CIRCUIT.. I have found mine. The advent of Bhaii also makes us part gay, the only thing that even after four years of no contact with the fairer sex except the lecturers doesn’t make us feel alien.

Bakar:
There are many forms in which this word is used: Bakchodi, Baketi, Bakar, BaatCheet. This is the best form of time pass which is an engineer’s pet hobby. The more we bakar the more we develop the self confessed fundas. Fundas are the basis of life which form the beginning and the end of our thought process. We develop a habit of having a reason for everything that happens around us (for eg if India lose T20-WC, it is due to overload, IPL and swinging pitches, if India win.. it is due to overload, IPL and swinging pitches). Secondly it helps us analyze the so called non-existent social life which we share. Thirdly it is the only source of information sharing and the contact with the news in the outside world, newspapers are something which are used only to check the listing of the movies in the halls. There are many more advantages which I would be listing in a separate blog. Yeah u are right, I have too much free time. I have been practically useless since my 10th.

Begging:
Even after becoming BHAIII, the pockets are always empty. Somehow as much money as we get from home never seems to last the semester. Since we can’t do hafta wasooli, the indigenous technique of yours truly is to leech money of the BHAII’s. The way of doing it without ever having to return the money is to ask for 5 bucks for a lime juice or an emergency. When days are real bad even a 2 buck treat for a Xerox works wonder. If this trick even works on 10 people, we have a mega-dinner ready. All there is to lose in this trick is your dignity and respect, which as an engineer we have already pledged to forego.

Hibernation :
This is the period of a semester in which no exams are going on. Basically the day the semester starts to the first day of the exams. The hibernation is a way of an engineer to get used to his surroundings and reinvigorate to fight the next examination. The wolves (the ones having or looking for GF’s .. the ratio of which drops to 5% after the first semester) are the only active breed. They hibernate too after facing rejection or realizing the futility of the hunt. Hibernation is mostly staying up whole night and preparing mentally to attend classes next day, only to realize that classes are a waste of time, we can learn more by simply looking at the revolving fan.

Cleanliness:
We are the unique breed who take self pride in winning competitions like “Who can sleep the most?”, or “How long can you wear the same clothes?”. The one task that takes the cake is “The Maximum days without a BATH.” I participated and lasted 19 days to hold the record for four years. Being the closely knit brigade we are, all my friends passed their hibernation in picking lice from the hair and body of the PRIDE of the GROUP, me. These lice are the fruit of the 15 days of laboring in not taking a bath. Who says we have not evolved from monkeys. There are rumors that the record has been upstaged by someone who performed the feat for a month. It is a nation-wide record. I ll confirm as the reports come in.

The rest of the commandments would be in my next post. That is all till now.

P.s. i will not post bout drugs or booze since that is common with all the fields..